From Dinner Parties to Dragon Funerals
Usually when a death occurs it is the living wearing black… in this
case it was the dead.
Black dragons and black scaled lizard folk littered the ground at our feet. Remnants of faerie fire and arrows give evidence to an awesome battle. Mounds of precious metals lined the chamber that we, a Human Rogue, a halfling Monk, a dragon born Paladin, and myself find ourselves in.
We were fortunate to add a new member to our party, a bronze skinned dragon born paladin. I didn’t care to notice which deity to which he prayed. I always preferred the paladins who spoke to gods through battle more so than speech. There is nothing worse than a paladin who believes that everyone needs to hear about their gods. Every god damn week there was some paladin of some god knocking on my door asking if I had found “whoever they were babbling about”. Then there were those “do goodie” paladins sitting atop mounts or hanging out in market places providing “protection” for a fee. Either way, this guy seems ok. Perhaps I should learn his name. Seems like this meat-head may last a while.
I’m not used to these kind of jobs. If I didn’t believe we were somehow referred by that sweet-ass-ed hobgoblin from the basement of the last job we did, I probably wouldn’t have taken this kind of work. I enjoyed researching with the rogue prior to traveling, but I am not comfortable with the lack of information about specific items that we were looking for, and other detailed information about the heist. On the other hand it was nice to stop planning and simply take actions. After-all, some of the situations we will find ourselves in this day, will not provide the time to plan and discuss our options.
Like the ancient dragon skeleton laying in the corner, we took a long rest, bedding ourselves in the coins. Feeling much more empowered to face anything this job may have to offer, we located a secret rotating door that entered into a long hallway.
At the end of this long hallway, our expert Rogue managed to locate a gearbox that activated a moving wall. Essentially, we had about 30 seconds to live. it was like I had lived this experience in another life at another time, like I remembered the future. Together with the help of my premonition the rogue and I were able to stop the moving wall.
Now we had to deal with the bars. We couldn’t squeeze through them, and the dragon could not break them. He may have rattled his bones to dust before he was every able to break a single bar. After seeing how the bar mechanism was behaving after being stuck by the force of Tyr, we were able to work through how the mechanism worked and got the bars to be begin to lower. However, as the bars were lowering the wall at the back of the room started to move towards us again. I climbed up the front of the dragon man and heaved myself, clumsily, over the top of the bars. I think the tindragon may have touched my butt for a little too long though. It made me feel dirty, but I was relieved to be on the other side of the dragon-garlic mincer.
We entered into the next room. Every inch of the room seemed to be filled with a moving blades. Like a man inspired by an otherworldly force, the Tindragon heaved his warhammer into the the spinning blades. Locking up the mechanisms for the blades, the entire room began to shake trying to break through the warhammer. The warhammer held fast, for the moment. As we proceeded, two constructs began to dance rhythmically through the room as if they were dodging blades. While the robots were slowly dancing across the room, and the stressed metals cogs and widgets strained, rattled, and threatened to turn the room into a dimension called “the dimension of a million flying shrapnel pieces”, we stopped to consider our options. We also found that the constructs would also stop to attack an illusion. Frankly, the robots looked less frightening than the quivering spinning blades that were position quite nicely to cleave my head off. We began to launch an assault ranged weapons at the constructs. We managed to make it through the room, and three locked gates, just as the room turned into a room of a trillion metal splinters.
We entered into the next room. A horrible room of platforms and lava. As we approached the center platform, two creepy metal dogs with grabby tongues appeared on the center platform. Like a fat cat failing to gain momentum while jumping onto a couch, one of the dogs fell to his death trying to reach our platform. The next began chewing on the midsection of the monk. It was impressive. The monk turned pale and dusky and was now shaped like an hour glass. Audibly we knew his insides were rearranged. The paladin took care of the feebled monk.
I had other plans. Feeling 100% ineffective against this metal dog, and frankly not wanting to get licked by it’s gross slimy tongue, I hoped that by removing the khyber/sybaris crystal from the ceiling, that the seemingly extra-planer beings would disappear. We were not so fortunate. My thoughts were somewhat confirmed or at least supported when I felt something “enter” the crystal when the beast was destroyed. Not wanting to see those things again, ever, I flicked the stone into the lava. I head screaming and felt and inner relief. No worth of that crystal justified keeping the the stone and thus the possibility of my insides becoming strangled like the monks. Nope. Nope. Nope. I heard the metal-head yelling something, I made it known that I didn’t care.
We walked into a chamber. In the chamber was a scepter and and amulet of that seemed very much like some loot Sur’kil may be looking for. I attempted to use the arcane to detect magic around us. Suddenly, it felt like the world around me was melting and my corneas were being removed from my eyes with a sun-rod. Momentarily I gave up on the life that i had previously known. My new life belonged to a world of whites and reds, and pain. I had no body, I could not move, I was part of something greater than myself. Everything?
I snapped back to reality… my reality. A mummy half dragon beast was ensnared in a tangle of hippy paladin might. I uttered some words and faerie fire outline the visage of the beast. We pummeled it dead. It lay dead on the ground dripping acid from its exposed neck. We looted the goods and took images of designs found on the alter. Seemingly, the only way to go was from where we came. We climbed back out the well and contacted Sur’kil.
With loot in hand we continued to move.